‘Bristol Fashion’ is a sweet, moving slice of life movie that follows a young transgender woman, Christina (Lea Nayeli) as she navigates the fraught waters of her life. ‘Bristol Fashion’ is an intimate look at her life in these moments, and it escapes stereotypes and cliches. We are offered a window into this turbulent time in her life — her purchase of a boat, the bigotry she faces in her day to day life, the awkwardness around identification cards and deadnames, the delicacy of relationships between transgender women and straight cis men, and the intricacies and difficulties of living an authentic life.
Christina is bold and strong even when at her most vulnerable. She pulls no punches – nor does this movie.
I don’t want to give away too much in this review because I really would love for you to watch it! If you do, you’ll be treated to a fearless look at a woman’s life and experiences as she tries to find her way in the world – by way of an old boatyard.
‘Bristol Fashion’ movie Poster. Image Source: Affirmative Youth Productions.
‘Bristol Fashion’ is directed by Pierre Guillet – a tugboat captain who grew up at the boatyard in which much of the movie takes place. Guillet, Timothy John Foster, and Lea Nayeli share writing credit.
The characters of Christina, Steve / Esteban, and Cadillac / Gerald are well-acted and all of them bring a relatability and likability to their roles. It’s a treat to see their performances as their characters change through the course of the movie.
Lea Nayeli is enchanting in the role of Christina. Beautiful, kind, strong, vulnerable, fierce, and everything else demanded of her in any given situation – Christina is a smart, straight-speaking woman. She’s confident in her gender identity and what she is fighting for, while being scared and vulnerable about her situation. She’s determined to have her plan happen just so – which makes her journey seeking peace from her traumatic past happen on her terms. While Christina’s habit of calling people by their given name instead of their chosen is an odd one, it’s tempered by Lea Nayeli’s warmth and kindness in her delivery of them, which lead me to believe this quirk speaks to Christina’s turmoil in relating to her world after a horribly traumatic experience. It’s obvious that her experiences have left her keeping people at a distance while being as bluntly truthful as possible. She’s not one to lead people on – she just says it like it is, and Lea Nayeli expertly navigates the performance. Christina has confidence without egotism and a vulnerability devoid of weakness.
Raul Perez’s performance is a sweet one, and his Esteban undergoes a lot of changes through the story. His reactions to Christina, protectiveness towards her, and affection are all easy to see, and as we get to know his character it’s easy to understand why. Even when his character stumbles with intolerance, Perez makes his journey back to kindness and groundedness believable. I was grateful to learn more about him.
Richard DiFrisco’s performance is magnetic — it’s easy to be curious about the semi-enigmatic Cadillac and his acting aspirations, but DiFrisco brings a sly playfulness that was fun to watch. I found myself wondering what part he got, and how his performance turns out.
What I particularly liked about the characters is that they are flawed human beings that we get to see grow and change through the film. Other than the extremely bigoted, there are no caricatures here. There’s no flinching from the hard truths about these lives and their world and how sometimes the cards we are dealt suck.
As for the setting, this is a New York I’ve never seen. I’m going out on a limb that many haven’t seen these views – and these new images of its waterways give the city an entirely different, exotic character. Symbolically, the boatyard also adds to our sense of tension as we watch Christina navigate this traditionally male space.
The music by Sami El-Enany enhances the scenes without being overwhelming. The cinematography, camera work, and color palate all bring a warmth and intimacy to the overall feel of the film. There are some beautiful moments of lighting and framing that add texture. One particularly beautiful scene comes when Christina is exploring her new home by lamplight.
‘Bristol Fashion’ movie Poster. Image Source: Affirmative Youth Productions.
I really enjoyed ‘Bristol Fashion,’ and was grateful to see an affirming story about the power of tolerance and acceptance. The story’s emotional range and depth is accompanied by wry humor and meditative visuals that make sure that the weighty material isn’t too overwhelming. It was refreshing to see a film that actually explored the experiences of a transgender woman beyond just the surface. ‘Bristol Fashion’ is a beautiful contemplative examination of the sort of life often relegated to the margins, but so deserving of our time.
‘Bristol Fashion’ will be screened as part of the Indie Discovery LA Film Series later this year!
You’re either going to understand what that means, and you’ll continue (or perhaps you’ll stop reading right there), or you’ll think, ‘huh?’
Saying I’ll be as spoiler-free as the trailer is actually a hilarious joke because not much from the trailer was in the pre-premiere we saw.
Allow me to present the trailer, and you can decide if you want to stick around. I’ll be as spoiler-free as the trailer is.This is actually a hilarious joke because not much from the trailer was in the pre-premiere we saw.
I love an earnest movie. There’s magic in seeing a film that someone poured their heart and soul into. I’m very prone to loving movies with their hearts on their sleeve. Or, apparently, a shark on their streets. Thus, to celebrate our wedding anniversary,
and I drove up to Portland to see the pre-premiere of Tommy Wiseau’s ‘Big Shark.’
The Theater
‘The Room,’ Wiseau’s most famous work (so far), played on March 31st and April 1st, and Big Shark had showings on April 1st and April 2nd at Cinema21 in Portland, Oregon.
Cinema 21, located on NW 21st Avenue in Portland, has been a cinema since 1926. It’s a locally owned business that is a staple of Portland’s cinema community. Through the years it has had many different names, such as ‘The State’ or ‘The Vista.’ It’s played host to a number of premieres through its time, including ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,’ ‘Slackers,’ and ‘Pan’s Labyrinth.’
It’s also got a gorgeous marquee.
Cinema 21 marquee lit up at night. Image Awesomeness: Cinema21. Image Source: Author.
I’m a sucker for the sorts of films they show, too. Their coming lineup includes ‘A Face in the Crowd’ (amazing movie starring Andy Griffith and Walter Matthau). Anyway, it was a great little place to catch some interesting movies. They have a history of hosting Wiseau — here’s some footage of one of his Q&A’s from 2017.
The Movie
I wasn’t sure what to expect, and honestly ‘Big Shark’ beat any expectations I had anyway.
First of all, one of my concerns with ‘The Room’ is there was this feeling / worry I had was about the exploitation of Tommy Wiseau and specifically his feelings. It’s complicated, so let me try and unpack it for a second. Remember how I’m a sucker for an earnest movie? Well, The Room is certainly earnest. So earnest, that I could feel he was really pouring his heart into it. This is a man whose favorite movies are ‘Citizen Kane’ and ‘Giant’ and I can definitely see that, and that was his influence.
I worried that audiences were laughing at a creation that represented a lot of his genuine feelings and that probably stung. I’ve been the person who people made fun of for things I made and it’s never been fun for me. My experiences made me worry that sometimes, the laughter might take a toll on Wiseau’s artistic vision.
I am very happy to say that after viewing ‘Big Shark’ (and its intro and Q&A by none other than the auteur himself), that not only is Wiseau in on the joke now — he’s funnier at telling that joke than any one of us could have hoped. He seemed to really be enjoying himself with the audience, and it really helped make some magic.
How did he do it again?
This was a pre-premier of ‘Big Shark,’ and the audience mainly consisted of people who loved Tommy Wiseau, so we were an audience primed to enjoy fun times with a big shark terrorizing the streets of New Orleans. The plot is straightforward ‘firefighters and best friends attempt to save New Orleans from big shark.’ It was the getting there that neared the sublime in cult movie viewing.
None of us had seen this movie before, and still Wiseau managed to tap into the meta experience of a cult film viewing better than a lot of people aiming straight for it. We whooped at a movie theater that looked vaguely like the one we were in. The audience enthusiastically catcalled Tommy’s character as he stripped off a layer of clothing for a fishing trip. We sang with the characters (‘Cowboys never cry!’), cheered when the shark came on screen, and chanted ‘sports’, ‘pump’, and sometimes ‘vroom’ when it seemed right to do so.
I got to experience a cult film wrap its audience in a loving embrace in real-time.
Somehow, Tommy Wiseau managed to make an audience-participation-driven experience that felt organic, and I can’t think of many other directors that can pull that off. Masterful.
The entire experience made all the more special by knowing that Tommy was there, watching with us. We got to share our joy in his creation with him.
The Event
The event’s doors opened at 4, but Tommy Wiseau made sure to spend time with everyone in the merch line before the show got started. Then he made his intro, during which he encouraged us all to have a good time and have fun.
I think it would be a very hard time not to have fun in the crowd.
By the time that the movie ended, we were on our feet and hooping and hollering. This was billed as a pre-premiere, and Wiseau pointed out to begin his Q&A that there were going to be some edits. He awarded a poster to ‘Zero’ (the person who correctly answered the number of sets in the film was nicknamed zero) along with a host of people that he brought down from the balcony. He encouraged those seeking advice that his advice would be ‘keep going.’
We balcony dwellers actually got a great view, fabulous show, and a lot of attention from the showman himself, Tommy Wiseau. Image Source: Author
It was also great to have his long-time friend Greg Sestero come out to field the question of whether or not they are still friends (‘We’ve done three films about best friends, and I’m here 25 years later!’), along with a few of the other questions. Raul Phoenix was also there, and it was cool to hear him talking about his character (whose animal would be a panther). I hope that Isiah LaBorde made it out of the airport OK (he was supposed to be there as another surprise guest but got stuck!). It was during the Q&A we got to learn that Tommy will be back in May, with ‘props’ from the movie (that were all real!).
I made the subtitle of this piece pretty much say everything I feel about this event. It’s going to be one of my favorite movie-going experiences ever for a long, long time: it’d be hard to beat. Everything conspired to make it so. Cinema 21 is an exquisite venue and created the perfect atmosphere for a movie experience. The event was well-organized and well-staffed by the theater. It’s obvious why it’s such a long-lived, storied place.
The movie was so much fun, and it was all the more so knowing that Wiseau was laughing with us. I will wait until after the movie shows in its final form to talk about what I thought about plot, acting, etc. overall, but after some thought, I do have some questions about some of the influences (I’m really hoping ‘Big Trouble In Little China’ is one of them).
Ultimately, my experiences and love of Tommy Wiseau’s work comes down to the fact it’s inspiring and inspired. Especially after hearing his Q&A, in which he came off as genuine and downright loving towards those in attendance.
Tommy Wiseau’s ‘Big Shark’ gets a perfect seven out of five sharks because I’m a biased reviewer. If you’re the sort of person that loves these sorts of movies — you’ll love this one, and there’s no better way than to see it with an audience. If you’re anywhere close to Portland, you’ve already got my recommendation as to where to go. Don’t be fooled — the balcony has some of the best seats!
There are three types of people in the world: people who hate Death to Smoochy, people who love Death to Smoochy, and people who don’t care about it at all.
I love Death to Smoochy. It’s a movie done with a lot of talent and care for the craft. It’s hilarious. Its themes of the corrupting influence of power, the commodification of entertainment, and the inherent tension between innocence and corruption are still highly relevant today. It features amazing performances, fun costuming and sets, and enough amazing writing that I still discover great lines in it that hadn’t really hit me before.
I can understand why this movie isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It’s pretty dark and whacky staff, but I have what they call ‘gallows humor’ and am particularly delighted with magical realism. I can’t recall a single bad time I’ve had watching Death to Smoochy, and it’s one of my comfort movies.
Plot
Death to Smoochy is a pitch black 2002 comedy directed by Danny DeVito. It tells the story of a children’s television show host named Rainbow Randolph (played by Robin Williams) who is fired for taking corruption and replaced by Sheldon Mopes (played by Edward Norton), whose stage persona is a fuchsia rhino named “Smoochy.” Sheldon was selected among other performers by KidNet for being beyond squeaky-clean: something they badly needed to recover following Radolph’s disgraceful behavior.
Sheldon’s wholesome and positive attitude, talent for songwriting and performance, and ability working with children propel Smoochy the Rhino into a huge success. Smoochy’s success makes Sheldon the target of many seeking to exploit his popularity, and extract as much money from his adoring fans as possible. Sheldon is also targeted by Randolph, who is looking to get revenge on Smoochy at any cost.
That revenge goes to some absolutely bonkers places. Ice shows, the Irish mob, Nazis. . . it’s over the top in the best possible way.
I’m not going to give it all away, go watch it.
Performances
Absolutely everyone in this movie turns in an amazing performance. There’s not one here that doesn’t fit the tone of the movie or the character – all of them are real in their world and it’s a delight to watch them all, but here are some I found particularly notable.
Robin Williams
It’s on Williams’ shoulders to pull us into a world where children’s hosts are gods. The opening is his: the movie opens on Rainbow Randolph’s theme song. This is followed immediately by him being busted for taking bribes to get kids on his show. Through the film, he mentally unravels over his repeated failed attempts to thwart Smoochy. I think this movie shows off some of his greatest attributes as a performer. He gets to sing, dance, and go absolutely batshit. He’s frantically hilarious during the cookie scene. His dance after he gets Smoochy framed for being a Nazi is a physical manifestation of schadenfreude.
I can’t really imagine anyone else pulling off the frenetic, physical demands of the role.
Edward Norton
Fucking wholesome, man. When he sings “the smack can lead to crack oh yes it can”, in that opening scene and later, ‘your stepdad’s not mean, he’s just adjusting,’ you feel it. Norton is all-in, and he plays Sheldon with full on earnestness. Norton’s through the first parts of the movie are to sell you on Sheldon – his earnestness, his kindness, his purity, and his anger issues.
The slow reveal that Sheldon has had to work through anger issues (HALT!) is deftly handled in the script and by Norton. Over time, as the stakes get higher, it gets harder for him to stay in control of that anger. That anger and frustration come spilling out in a memorable scene in his return to the Magic Jungle following a time of ‘fervent anti-Smoochism’
Carolyn Keener
She’s so perfect in this role. I know I’m saying this for everyone, but I have known women like her – hell I’ve been like her in some ways (except less smart, and far less lovely). It’s wonderful to see her establish Nora as she tries not to be pulled in, seeing Smoochy the first time.
There many great moments with Nora -many have to do with how she reacts to Sheldon in the early scenes. Her initial reactions to Sheldon when telling him that yes, KidNet want to hire him – while still trying to understand just what that was going to mean for her day to day (and trying not to believe in him even though she wanted to) is engaging. Her fierce competence, protectiveness, and her quick wit is fun to watch.
Pam Ferris
She’s exquisite. Hilarious. Threatening. Her delivery of “You boys ever traveled together before?” never fails to make me laugh. There’s not a scene she’s in where I’m not drawn to her – her presence is palpable. She elevates every scene she’s in. Even if she’s just complaining about Spinner and the cowbell, she’s irresistible. It’s another role where if the actor wasn’t perfect, the movie wouldn’t work – and she’s sublime.
“Have you got the hammer?”
Michael Rispoli
“I’m Spinner!” What an exquisitely sweet and hilarious performance. He does great eye work before doing the jiggy ziggy, and his earnestness matches Edward Norton’s. His physical performance as Spinner with the cowbell not hitting the queues is so awkward and comedically perfect (and his joy at getting it exactly right later matches that energy). His reaction to the scene with Smoochy’s howl is a great character moment. Also his “uh-oh” upon meeting his fate is pitch-perfect darkly hilarious.
Jon Stewart
Absolutely believable as Frank Mopes – it almost makes one forget the haircut because ultimately it’s perfect for a guy like Frank. I know that Jon Stewart said he ‘sucked’ in the movie, but I think that he played Frank perfectly.
Rhino Out of the Jungle Imagery: The Use of Costuming and Make Up
Since it’s a movie about creators, there’s a lot of meta work going on. It also helps to make the characters iconic, as children’s show The Meta of making his Smoochy costume, and how brandable and larger than life it makes him (it’s also in stark comparison to his earlier iteration of the Smoochy costume). The juxtaposition of Sheldon, dressed as Smoochy, interacting with – well anyone – in street clothes is perfect for establishing just how out of sorts a person like Sheldon is. The costumes contain delightful details – and Randolph’s obsession with his coat (so that he can wear it in a big scene) is a great reflection of his attachment to his old life and that persona.
Smoochy’s Magic Jungle vs. the Cold Reality: Set and Theme
The use of setting through the movie is brilliant. Each setting serves the scene, telling something about the characters. Nora’s sleek, modern, impersonal office (with a view) says a lot about her. The opening scenes, showing Rainbow Randolph’s set (and its subsequent tear-down) is a strong introduction into the volatile nature of the chidren’s entertainment media. The staging of the KidNet meeting where the board admonishes Frank to get them someone squeaky clean emphasizes the disconnectedness of those in power.
Endlessly Quotable
Sheldon: You can’t change the world but you can make a dent.
Officer: “You ok?” Randolph: “I’m kind of fucked up in general, so it’s hard to say”
Buggy: I never saw Venice!
Randolph: You better grow eyes in the back of your head, you horned piece of shit, because I’m not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I’m goin’ on safari motherfucker! SAH-FAR-I!
Amir Motlagh has a knack for making films that leave me feeling moved and raw. They also challenge me to evaluate my connections – or lack thereof – quite keenly. When I sat down to rewatch Motlagh’s film “Three Worlds” so I could write something meaningful and cohesive about it, I had three questions written down that I wanted to write the answers to:
What is Three Worlds about?
What’s a memory worth?
What can science fiction be?
Let’s explore what some of my thoughts were when I tried to answer these questions.
Image Source: Amir Motlagh’s Three Worlds.
What is Three Worlds About?
Three Worlds is, on the surface, about a man who gets a procedure that changes his perception of everything.
But really, Three Worlds is a three-part melody about memory: a tone poem in film form.
How’s that?
I’m not going to engage in a plot synopsis. This isn’t that kind of film.
The clues are there, and much like I believe I know what happened in the film Eraserhead, I believe I know what happened in Three Worlds.
From the opening, with its intimate framing of a memory recounted, Three Worlds is enveloping in its concept. The opening scenes involve questioning the senses and perceptions of self. To reduce the film to a ‘plot’ is to miss the entire point of its experience.
Instead of getting caught in the layers of story, I’ll focus on what Three Worlds makes me think about.
There’s a theoretical framework in psychology that describes the levels of experience an individual has in their life. The three worlds are the internal world, the interpersonal world, and the external world.
Image Source: Amir Motlagh’s Three Worlds.
The internal world refers to an individual’s subjective experiences, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It includes the conscious and unconscious mind, as well perceptions of self and the world . The internal world is influenced by past experiences and relationships. It shapes someone’s perceptions of the present.
The interpersonal world refers to an individual’s relationships with others, including family members, friends, colleagues, and romantic partners. It includes the emotional bonds, communication patterns, and power dynamics that exist within these relationships. The interpersonal world can influence an individual’s sense of self and their internal world.
The external world refers to the objective, tangible aspects of an individual’s environment, such as their physical surroundings, cultural norms, and societal expectations. This includes the ways in which an individual interacts with and is impacted by the larger world around them.
According to this theoretical framework, an individual’s experience is shaped by the complex interplay between these three worlds, and problems can arise when there are conflicts or inconsistencies between them.
So, let’s say someone has a problem with a relationship – and they seek to reconfigure that. How could they do that? How could that happen? Are events separate? Are emotions? Where do our feelings, desires, thoughts, and impulses originate? How does a single memory impact a person? What about more? How much do moments, people, feelings — reach through time?
Does connection transcend memory? Can memory transcend connection?
What’s a memory worth?
Three Worlds directly asks many questions of its characters and viewers.
I’m a sucker for any piece of work that asks “Who Are You,” pulling the viewer immediately into the work. Three Worlds takes that line of inquiry farther, asking more. And it asks ever more – not only about what the fundamental meaning of being is, but also how memory plays into it, and how our role in the world colors it.
As scenes of intimacy, loss, and memory play before us, Three Worlds gives pieces of the worlds, fragments of experience. It expresses the dissatisfaction, the profundity, and the absurdity of any given moment. it demands attention.
Three Worlds shares much with the meta observations in ‘If On A Winter’s Night a Traveler’. One quote in particular springs to mind, “This is what I mean when I say I would like to swim against the stream of time: I would like to erase the consequences of certain events and restore an initial condition. But every moment of my life brings with it an accumulation of new facts, and each of these new facts bring with it consequences; so the more I seek to return to the zero moment from which I set out, the further I move away from it.”
I’m also reminded of Calvino in the moments of Saam’s eyes, “Don’t be amazed if you see my eyes always wandering. In fact, this is my way of reading, and it is only in this way that reading proves fruitful to me. If a book truly interests me, I cannot follow it for more than a few lines before my mind, having seized on a thought that the text suggests to it, or a feeling, or a question, or an image, goes off on a tangent and springs from thought to thought, from image to image, in an itinerary of reasonings and fantasies that I feel the need to pursue to the end, moving away from the book until I have lost sight of it.”
What can science fiction be?
Science fiction isn’t all spaceships and laser battles. Speculative and introspective science fiction like Three Worlds is both refreshing and exciting. It also gives independent filmmakers a great way into the genre. Three Worlds manages to fuses its ‘meta’ world with the urgency of feeling expressed through its compelling score (I’d hardly call the use of good music cinematic manipulation as posited by one of the characters, though), textured cinematography, and grounded performances.
Science fiction doesn’t need to be a ship – it can be a syringe, and the world as we know it is the world as we feel it. Motlagh manages to explore these worlds for not only Saam, the main character in the film, but for us, the viewer. While the beautiful Los Angeles sky can pull us into the rich visuals of the film, the challenging emotions remind us that we are a part of its world and this experience.
Feelings from a Harmless Room
What I’ve always found amazing about Amir Motlagh’s films is how he deals with connection in a disconnected world. In Three Worlds, it’s an exploration of the connectedness of the self to it all that is on display. As Saam navigates his life and relationships, we as viewers are challenged to consider what is art, what is artifice, and what we think our world really is.
In the ‘Harmless Room’ segments, Motlagh sits in a darkened yet oscillating space between the narrative worlds. This space with Saam isolated, alone. Projections punctuate the frame.
Questions.
Dog God
There are so many layers, and so much to digest. What does the date 2/15/18 have to do with it? What is the value of a memory? What frantic wisdom could be found in a large chicken’s egg?
What is the nature of time in a memory?
The beautiful trick of the raw, emotional work of Three Worlds is that it got me to forget all of the crazy questions I had about the sci-fi part of the movie. The more I saw Saam interact, and heard the family talk, the less I worried about how and the more I wanted to know why. For a work that seems so puzzling on its surface, the undercurrent of relationships and how they color and impact the experience of life remains.
Three Worlds asks a lot of its viewers – but it delivers far more than it asks. The cinematic experience of LA rooftops and its beautiful skies interspersed with carefully framed conversations and the Harmless Room are evocative and inspiring. This isn’t the sort of film for people who are looking for comfortable answers. It displays its raw and sometimes dark emotions in a way that is easy to connect to and challenging to contemplate. Three Worlds asks us what of our lives, our selves – our worlds. What are we? How do our relationships impact our world?
Author on a 10 mile run in frigid temps. In a skirt. Image Source: Author
I last wore ‘hard pants’ (I wear leggings under my skirts like Daenerys Targaryen so I’m not talking about those) sometime in 2019, in the before-fore times. I’ve never been a huge fan of trousers — I’ve always preferred skirts. I even wore skirts when I was marathoning. Imagine my annoyance when I went to unpack my winter clothes this year, and came upon some denim pants at the bottom. Initially I was thrown into the ‘do I donate these or — ‘ thought spiral, until I realized the jeans might solve a problem I was having. For a couple of weeks I have been wanting to make a mock-up of a new corset pattern I had drafted up of another Pretty Housemaid corset (this draft is for a smaller waist so I can lace down, and better breast shaping), but I needed to find appropriate materials to make a mock-up. I already have a lovely dark green coutil and spoon busk for it because I have a craft-supply hoarding problem.
I wasn’t sure, but I felt like I had found the solution to my problem at the bottom of my clothes bag.
Corset-making requires precision, patience — and mock-ups. The sheer amount of mock-ups help contribute to the general expense of corsetry as a hobby. While sewing corsets doesn’t require any exceptional skills that are out of reach, it does require great amounts of patience, and piles of mock-ups.
My original plan was to just use the denim for a mock-up and throw it away, but I have always been distressed at the sheer amount of waste this can create and strive to make mock-ups that can be reused in some way. Waste, in general, strikes fear into my heart and anxiety in my brain. My plan was to baste the un-corded recycled denim layers together to do a fast fit check, and then, instead of wasting the mockup, I could make then make the double layered corded corset using some of my small stash of coutil.
I didn’t want to have to use the coutil, an expensive fabric, if the mock-up wasn’t going to end up being a viable corset / ‘wearable mockup’.
Pattern pieces on my jeans. Image Source: Author.
Once I decided on the approach, I started arranging pattern pieces on the pants to see how I could use the fabric and some of the more sturdy, helpful seams. Since the busk requires a good, crisp folded over edge (as well as the center back panels where the lacing lives), I wanted to use some of the seaming in the pants. It ended up that the jeans essentially had enough cloth for a corset — as long as I didn’t include the pockets. I’m going to be honest here and admit that I thought about trying to integrate the pockets into the hip-pad design of the corset, but I decided not to, and that’s for the best, since I ended up making another project out of the pockets that I’ll talk about.
Once I had identified how I could use all of the cloth and seaming to my advantage, it was time to do the worst part of any sewing project for me — the cutting. In this case, the cutting was less stressful. After all, I was only ‘losing’ pants I hadn’t worn for at least three years. As I cut them, I thought about some of the things I’ve learned about how people would sew and use their clothes in the past, and how fast fashion actually isn’t as new as people think it is.
In this video about shattering silk, Nicole Rudolph mentions that the Victorian-era practice of weighting silk would have women buying silk that would only last for a brief time. What was surprising to me about that revelation is that cloth by that time was seen as disposable at all. Making fabric takes time — so does chopping it into shapes and then sewing that into place. I haven’t woven any more cloth lately because warping a loom can be such a pain, which is why I’m delighted to be able to re-use fabric whenever I can.
Ironed pieces ready to be sewn. Image Source: Author
Since I’ve had a lot of practice sewing this particular corset, it came together quickly and relatively stress free. Since the fabric was cheap (I hate to call it free, but it didn’t stress my budget), I thought it might be a neat concept to continue to just use items out of my stash to finish the corset. I used leftover navy threads mixed with some leftover burgundy thread. I used leftover cloth for the bias tape. I was rewarded with a great looking corset, even without bones and just basted together.
Here’s the corset before boning. Image Source: Author.
I admire people who strive for historical accuracy in their clothing. It’s fascinating to read and watch their processes, and one of the joys of the internet is being able to share knowledge like that. And while I’m interested in historical fashion and how to sew it, my style is more fusing that with other modern sensibilities which can really open up the space for me. I don’t have to hand sew everything. It opens up the realm of fabrics. It also allowed me to feel free to go ahead and use some crazy ribbon I had in my stash.
I can’t say I’d use this sort of ribbon again, but it sure is prettier than simple cord. Image source: Author
I was able to apply so many lessons from my prior outings sewing this corset, and I’m delighted with the outcome. As I sat and considered how to start on the final corset (I’m working on a wardrobe with the inspiration of Stitch Witch / Victorian Trailer Trash for ‘aesthetic tags’).
I really do love this corset and it does exactly what I was hoping. I’m able to lace down quite a bit (from 28″ waist to 24″) and am still comfortable. I think the adjustments that I made to the pattern are sensible and make the overall corset far more comfortable than other iterations that I’ve tried. Even though the pattern I was working from requires as spoon busk, I find the corset is very workable with a regular busk (but still sewn in the shape of the spoon busk).
My bonus project was a pocket. Pockets, for the longest time, weren’t integrated into clothing. They were separate, worn around the waist, and accessible through slits in the clothing. I saw someone on youtube that had a pocket made from recycled pockets from jeans and I thought — yes. Yes I can do this. And, I did.
The recycled pocket.
This pocket actually has several layers of pockets. A pocket of pockets.
Much like the recycled denim corset, I used supplies that I had on hand and didn’t purchase anything new. I used the last of the bias tape I couldn’t use in the corset, in addition to some canvas I had sitting around from a prior creation.
I’ve started embroidering the pocket while I consider how I’m going to floss my glorious recycled corset. I’m also thinking of a way I can alter it to make it more accessible through slits in clothing (and to possibly cover the poor thing a bit better. It ends up that women’s pockets are barely deep enough to be useful on these!).
While these jeans started as a piece of fast fashion that I thrifted a few years ago, it was a true delight to turn something that I wasn’t using into something that I could. It reminded me of the many alterations that you can see on historical garments. Making things for myself has given me a deeper understanding of the world and the things that I use. It’s also given me a deeper appreciation for the act of creation.
I’ve been doom-scrolling through stories about how stores are running out of things and how things are just running out. The pleasure of taking my own unused jeans and making something I find both useful and beautiful helped remind me of just how much potential we’re all surrounded by.
I once heard that every corpse on Everest was once one of the most motivated people in the world. There are many people in the world who could tell you the story of George Leigh Mallory. There are some that could tell you about Green Boots, and what he means to the mountain.
I’d like to tell you about one of the lesser-known corpses, Maurice Wilson.
Wilson’s early life was marred by WWI
Maurice Wilson was born in 1898 and like many men of his age and time he ended up enlisting in the English services on his eighteenth birthday, during WWI. Maurice quickly ascended the ranks — he became a corporal during exercises after his enlistment and a lieutenant by the time they were even sent to France. Once he arrived, it was just in time for the Battle of Ypres (Battle of Lys), and there, with noted and award-winning pluck, he promptly earned the Military Cross for single-handedly taking and guarding a machine gun post after the rest of his unit was terribly injured (or dead).
Battle of Ypres. A key event in Maurice’s Life. Source: Wikimedia Commons
A few months later, our guy returned to the same place (I’m being literal, as it was once again in the town of Meteren), only this time as a captain. Once again he was caught by machine-gun fire — but this time fate decided to treat him less like a messiah and more like the rest of us. This time, Maurice was shot repeatedly in his chest and his left arm.
Once it became apparent that he was strong enough to heal from being shot in the chest, he was moved to France, and eventually back to England to recover. He once again served with his unit, but since he didn’t fully recover the use of his left arm, I doubt they expected him to hold off a whole unit on his own.
Wilson spent years wandering through places, wives, and careers
For some unknown reason, when Maurice got back to his home town of Bradford from all of these horrors, he wasn’t in the right mindset to take over as director of his father’s weaving / woolen mill. Like many of his contemporaries, facing the horrors of war left his prior dreams faded and discarded, and — like many without an idea of what to do in life — he wandered.
Maurice set off hoping to find his fortune and to attempt to address his nagging health injuries which definitely included a giant case of PTSD (possibly related to being shot in the chest while watching most of his friends die horrible deaths in trenches). Maurice wandered through London, San Francisco, and New Zealand just as he wandered through the careers of farmer, dress shop owner, and snake oil salesman. Since his snake oil was created from alcohol and opium, I’m pretty sure it at least relieved some pain for both his customers and Maurice, as he was dogged by illness (supposedly pulmonary tuberculosis) throughout his travels (Kaplan).
Maurice found himself in worsening health and on a slow boat back to Britain after two failed marriages and years of wandering the world. It was during this journey that he had his foundational ideas of a ‘perfect life’ shaken. He found himself surrounded by a cross section of people of varied class and lifestyles — all of whom seemed more fulfilled than he had ever felt. At this time he also engaged in conversations with Hindu sadhu, and according to his diaries and letters, they were as fascinated with him as he was with them (though this could be his ego talking).
Maurice was confident that he had found peace and a home in London when he returned there, but instead, he found himself a nervous breakdown.
A plan takes shape
At this point, Wilson’s story depends entirely on the man’s account itself — which was that he met a mystic who advised him to fast heavily and pray. Maurice disappeared for a few months, returned, and — by all accounts — was recovered. Powter recounts a story by personal friends of Maurice Wilson’s wherein he says “I’ll show the world what faith can do, I’ll perform some task so hard and so exacting that it could only be carried out by someone aided with Divine Help — I’ll climb Mount Everest alone!”
Maurice now needed a plan, which he found in the form of a torrent of articles flooding papers at the time regarding plans for a flight over Everest. Maurice decided he’d try to convince them to allow him to parachute to Everest. The salesman in him recognized a big opportunity in using the latest tech to try and aid him in his new quest.
It’s important to take a moment and appreciate Maurice’s climbing resumé, but not too long of a moment since it was nonexistent. This is in stark contrast to, say, George Mallory, who had a decent climbing resumé for the time — and died on the mountain. So obviously, if Maurice could pull this off, it would be due to Divine Intervention.
This is a recognizable thought process if you have spent a lot of time studying the Bible (either as literature or as writ of God). To give God (or whatever) the glory for something, it can be weirdly important to some prophets and mystics that the vessel for this feat is also incompetent. That way, it’s super obvious that it was God doing all the special stuff.
Unfortunately for Maurice, those embarking on the 1933 Houston flight expedition wanted it to succeed, and they felt that Maurice’s plan of an ‘unencumbered’ race to the summit of the highest mountain in the world directly after parachuting onto it was going to take more than “a tent, a sleeping bag, warm clothing, food, and faith.” ( Powter).
Maurice had pluck, faith, and confidence. Talent, experience, and a strong plan — not so much. Undeterred by the rejection, he doubled down on his new identity as a mountaineering pilot, and used people’s reactions as a springboard to attempt to bring them into his mission. His first step was to buy a plane that he dubbed “Ever Wrest.”
The more Maurice Wilson was rejected in his pursuit of the summit, the more it strengthened his resolve. When people mocked his style of dress, it made him more certain of his destiny. When he was made fun of for taking twice as long as other pilots to learn to fly, he still returned, ready to face the next lesson. When he messed up his ankles trying to learn to parachute, he decided to crash land. He hired one of his friends to be a PR guy.
Maurice Wilson completely threw himself into this expedition — except for learning to climb glaciers, learning to climb in snow, or buying any climbing equipment. When he trained, it was by walking many miles of rolling English countryside.
Chomolungma, or Mount Everest. Aerial view. Source: Wikimedia Commons
Himalayas in his sights
Because of this (and possibly many other facts), Wilson was repeatedly denied permits and allowances to crash land into the mountain. Shocking that bureaucrats wouldn’t let him, I know — especially since he had crashed to see his parents, requiring three weeks of repairs to the Ever Wrest. Despite the fact the Air Ministry telegrammed him on the day of departure that he was forbidden the necessary permissions, he set out for India from Stag Lane Airfield on May 21, 1933.
This would have been a daunting trip for experienced pilots of the time, much less one that had only logged 19 training hours in acquiring their pilot’s license — but not for Maurice. Despite fuel difficulties, arrest, and (I’m not kidding) lack of all the actual maps he’d need — Maurice Wilson made it to India in under two weeks.
He attempted to use the buzz his success generated to convince authorities India to approve his petitions to crash his plane into the mountain and allow him to begin his assault on the summit. The authorities responded largely by having his plane impounded, which forced Maurice to eventually sell it to meet his expenses as monsoon season approached.
Maurice plotted in Darjeeling how to get past the authorities, who were not going to allow him past Sikkim. After spending months fasting for up to three weeks at a time and going for training walks in Darjeeling while waiting out the monsoons, Maurice finally gathered three Sherpa to begin his ascent of the mountain. Per his plan, Maurice dressed as a Tibetan monk and left Darjeeling with Rinzing, Tewang, and Tsering Sherpa on March 31, 1934. To cover his departure with the hotel, he paid many months in advance and claimed he was going on a tiger shoot.
From there, the information we have about his life is relegated merely to the diary he kept with him (which now resides in the Alpine Club Archives after being found by the Shipton Expedition in 1935). The Sherpa lead him through night marches that finally brought him through Sikkim, and once they arrived in Tibet, he doffed his disguise and traveled in the day. Despite complaining that he felt he was on the mountains of the moon, he even often managed to walk twenty miles in a day.
On the Road to Everest: The view of Everest from Rongbuk Monastery. Source: Wikimedia Commons
He beat the pace of the 1933 Ruttledge expedition (he was fiercely competitive with them) to the Rongbuk Monastery by 10 days. It was here that he impressed the Lama, who gave him access to the Ruttledge equipment that they have left behind — so I guess he didn’t have to buy all that pesky equipment after all. He was so anxious to beat the Ruttledge expedition’s metrics that he spent only 2 days resting at the monastery before taking off on April 16th, alone, to walk the route he read about.
Unfortunately, all of the books he read were in the tone of hearty Englishmen who were used to climbing up mountains, not wandering hills. Their tone was often dismissive of the real trials that it took to travel across the different terrains the mountains had to offer, and it would have fed Maurice Wilson’s already false sense of confidence.
Maurice climbs Everest alone
Despite all of this and a 45-pound pack, Wilson made good progress on the first day, until he reached the Rongbuk glacier. And this is where fate decided to treat Maurice Wilson less like a messiah and more like the rest of us. His reading and theories failed him, and he became terribly lost in a changing maze of ice.
In the end, you can’t prepare for Everest by looking at even the most accurate of maps, because it can’t prepare you for the reality of an ever-changing, moaning ice landscape.
After three days of wandering around this glacier, cutting random paths of useless steps with his ice axe, he finally found Camp II. There, he found a pair of crampons, and tossed them aside because they weren’t food. At this point, the weather became far more hostile, and he only advanced 250 vertical feet in six hours the next day.
He made it pretty close to Camp III before being pinned in by a blizzard, where he wrote in his diary “Discretion is the better part of valor . . . It’s the weather that has beaten me — what damned bad luck!” (Wilson via Unsworth, pg 242). Yeah. The weather.
Luck once again intervened, and he managed to stagger back down the glacier and to the monastery and the waiting Sherpa. Unfazed, he immediately wrote in his diary about how he intended to head back up. It would take him eighteen days to heal to the point where he could, during which Tsering fell so ill he was unable to leave Rongbuk with the rest of the team.
Tewang and Rinzing set out with Maurice on the 12th of May, and they reached the site of Camp III in three days, availing themselves of a ‘bounty’ of food supplies that had been cached from the Ruttledge expedition. Maurice abandoned his dietary restrictions, and even tucked into a box of chocolates. He bemoaned in his diary the waste of equipment and supplies by the prior expedition.
Once again, Wilson was beset by a blizzard, which confined the three of them to camp by a blizzard. It was then that he wrote an entry in his diary that really put his ignorance of mountain climbing in perspective, “Not taking short cut to Camp V as at first intended as should have to cut my own road up the ice and that’s no good when there is already a handrope and steps (if still there) to Camp IV.” (Wilson via Unsworth, pg 243). On the 21st, he managed to get some scouting done with Rinzing despite headaches, but found that all traces of the prior expedition were gone.
The next day, he tried to climb the col alone, and set out for four days, until he came upon a 40-foot ice wall. Wilson camped below the chimney, and then spent a futile day attempting to climb it, and ended up staggering back into Camp III on May 25th. He spent the next two days trying to convince the Sherpa that he should continue forward, until on the 29th he tried once again to set out for his goal and set out alone for the col, and it camped at its foot, not far from Camp III. He spent two days resting and gathering strength before he wrote in his journal “Off again, gorgeous day” on 31st May and walked into history.
Maurice Wilson was born at a time that forced him into the unbelievable violence of WWI, where his first skirmish reinforced ideas of granduer before he was plunged into his own suffering. The war deposited him into a world that didn’t understand the mental anguish of her protectors, and to deal with his pain, he did what many do and set himself a large goal. Unfortunately, the goal he set had the price of failure set at death — and now, Maurice Wilson rests forever on Everest until global warming causes him to slip from his resting place. . . again.
Something’s Gotta Give, and it Will Be Consumer Faith in Science.
Testing Issues In Oregon: A Brief History of How We Got Here
Testing issues have been endemic in Oregon. They were notably present since at least 2015, which was the year, the Oregonian did a massive multi-part story covering shortfalls meant to inform residents of issues within the newly forming recreational cannabis industry. Not only were there issues in pesticides getting through the testing process, but there were discrepancies in edibles results as well. In reaction to this piece, in 2016 Oregon adopted some of the most stringent testing policies in the country. However, in 2017 the Oregonian once again did independent testing and found the system to be lacking. Also, they found that the state was not performing any sort of randomized testing on their own.
The years since have not helped labs or the state resolve these issues. In January of 2019, the Oregon Secretary of State released a document entitled “Oregon’s Framework for Regulating Marijuana Should be Strengthened to Better Mitigate Diversion Risk and Improve Laboratory Testing.” In this scathing audit, 15 recommendations are made, intending to help Oregon make up lost time in their laboratory testing standards. Reading this audit made clear that every portion of the lab and testing process had issues. Paper-bound processes constrain how labs are accredited to run tests. Unaccredited labs can subcontract tests, resulting in overtaxed accredited labs. And sampling methods were (and still are) highly suspect.
One of the shocking deficiencies listed by the report was the lack of a reference lab. A reference lab is a third-party lab that you use to help determine the accuracy of the results of the other labs. Without a reference lab, there’s no means of calibration that the laboratories can use to ensure that their results are correct. It also found that the accreditation body for the labs was inadequately staffed and was too limited in authority to ensure they could operate effectively, in addition to having many of their processes on paper. Regulators are happy to blame their woes on the lack of this lab, but there has been nothing done to address the issue since the 2019 audit.
The audit also recommends that tracking be added to METRC, the seed-to-sale software used in Oregon, to allow tracking of when testing is subcontracted. Currently, in addition to ‘lab shopping’ by producers, where they will take their product from lab to lab until they get the THC value they want, there is also a loophole in how the labs themselves subcontract those results. If a lab isn’t accredited to run a particular test, it can subcontract that result to a lab that can — but there is no indication that such a thing happened, nor does METRC have the facility to record such information.
With all of these problems around rudimentary aspects of testing, such as pesticides, heavy metals, and THC — it’s no surprise that there are some nuances in terpene testing as well. If you look at the historical results of a particular strain at a particular farm over time, you can definitely see that testing capabilities have increased, which will bring the overall terpene counts and percentages to appear higher — when it’s our testing capability that has improved.
What 250,000 THC Potency Tests Say About Oregon
I performed a public records request and did an analysis of the 250,000 records for THC tests that the state of Oregon keeps in its Cannabis Tracking System. I quickly received four years of de-identified data in quick time, and I’m grateful to TJ Sheehy and his team who made that happen.
The records request showed not only issues with the labs, but also issues with data collection and governance ( those are always to be expected in data sets like this). But even though it was a perfectly formatted imperfect data file, it still had a lot of relevant information and told quite a story.
In prior stories, I wrote about research into issues with labs in Washington and Nevada by Michael Zoorob. That research gave evidence that there were issues in the labs by examining a frequency analysis and noting the ‘bump’ that occurs around 20% THC, which is a significant number for marketing.
Here are the graphs from the Washington and Nevada Study.
Using my 20 year background in health care data analytics ( I’m even published!), I performed the same graphing on Oregon’s test results. Unlike other areas — I have expertise in this one. In this case, Oregon’s data shows the same deformation of the curve — and it’s gotten WORSE since the audit in 2019. If the state did anything meaningful to address the issue, it’s certain it hasn’t worked.
In 2019, the plateau before 20% THC for flower is very slight.
Frequency Distribution of THC test performed on Flower and Shake in Oregon in 2021. Image Source: AuthorAnother view with tighter grouping.. Image Source: Author.
In 2020 you can start to see the break before 20% steepen.
Frequency Distribution of THC test performed on Flower and Shake in Oregon in 2020 Image Source: AuthorFrequency Distribution of THC test performed on Flower and Shake in Oregon in 2020 with tighter grouping. Image Source: Author
In 2021 it gets out of hand.
Frequency Distribution of THC test performed on Flower and Shake in Oregon in 2021. Image Source: AuthorFrequency Distribution of THC test performed on Flower and Shake in Oregon in 2021 with tighter grouping. Image Source: Author
I heard how many thought that perhaps cannabis results wouldn’t conform to a normal curve — and yet — it’s obvious when digging into the data it’s been driven by a few. In fact, one lab in particular had at over 3% of their results over 33%.
Note the curve doesn’t peak at 20, nor should it — the average THC concentration in Oregon is actually at 23.3 for the year of 2021. Which is exactly where this data set peaks. I am working with Michael Zoorob to confirm these findings.
There’s one more graph that is pretty compelling. If I look at just any results that are over a ‘biologically infeasible’ result of above 36%. I’ve color-coded it by laboratory.
Image Source: Author
You can see other work I’ve done with the data on a public Tableau I’ve shared here.
8 Labs, 4 Samples: The Round Robin: The Setup
The ‘round robin test’ was my first effort at trying to understand what was going on. I wanted to send some samples to the labs to see what they reported. Tests like this are performed and are called proficiency tests, but several labs confided issues they had with how some of the current proficiency tests are run (such as not using cannabis, but a THC-spiked hemp sample).
I used the public-facing information on OLCC’s website about contact information for all of the accredited labs. I then started calling and emailing the numbers associated with their registration. Initially, 20 labs agreed to test, and I was over the moon.
Then, of course — reality set in the form of huge budgetary constraints. I talked with my state representative, who agreed that due to what I was doing, crowdfunding, etc. was off the table and he said the only legal way to approach funding was to seek it from the industry itself, unless I could self-fund. I don’t make a lot of money, and the project was going to cost thousands in various expenses — self-funding was out.
That’s when a lab stepped in to help, and another offered as well. Most labs agreed to waive their testing costs, but it would cost the experiment its ‘blind’ nature (when dropping off the samples, the labs now knew it was related to my project).
Once all of that happened, and I re-contacted labs to gauge their interest, given how everything had changed. A lot of them dropped out or ghosted me. There were even some that received a sample and didn’t participate. Crazy, huh?
In the end, I have results from 8 performed on the same 4 samples of material. And I’d say that the data is pretty interesting.
8 Labs, 4 Samples
Sample A, B, and C were all flower. Sample A is some of the craziest flower I’ve ever EVER experienced, and I’ve actually written about it before. I even had a lab ask if it was a kiefed batch: that’s how nuts flower A is.
Sample D was a distillate.
For all of these samples, I had them homogenized at ChemHistory. Originally I was going to try and build my own homogenizer using some instructions from one of the labs that said they were going to participate — but once they dropped out, I felt free to just ask for some help on this one!
Homogenization is a very important process for cannabis testing. It’s how a lab ensures that any sample is representative. This is pretty complicated for a plant like cannabis, since potency can be higher in one portion of the plant vs. another. Essentially, everything is ground into tiny bits, and those particles mixed up so much that it can be trusted to be representative of the entirety.
One of our homogenized samples looked like this:
Homogenized Cannabis. Image Source: Author.
Results
There are two sample 2’s because I typo’d the de-identification. Image Source; Author.
Why didn’t I include THC? Because Total THC is a calculated value, and can be derived from Delta-9 + (THCA*.877).
Summary Information:
Image Source: Author.
You’ll notice that in the original article where I reported this, I don’t make any conclusions or real observations about the data I’m reporting. But I’m going to say something now. For something that is such a ‘science’ there’s a lot of variability in these results. Particularly troubling is Sample C. While I’ve heard that the state has sent run tests similar to this, the fact is, this sort of one-off testing won’t be enough.
How My Experiment Was Flawed
Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to ‘blind’ the labs to the fact I was the one submitting cannabis for testing. First, I had to ask them for help to defray the costs. I heard that the state did similar proficiency tests recently, but the mere fact that I heard it is troublesome — the labs were easily able to identify that the samples were being run for OLCC.
How Do Labs Cheat?
1. Using Moisture % as a way to alter the number.
Moisture percentage can impact the THC potency of a sample, and moisture content or moisture percentage is one of the ways that labs are accused of cheating. The impact of this one is going to be pretty slight, but it could be meaningful enough to make the cannabis more viable in the current marketplace. On its own, it’s not going to result in something like the inconsistencies that are seen in Oregon.
2. Using a different calculation for loss on drying.
Using a different calculation for loss on drying.
This is another trick of math that might bump a number a little bit, but not by much. There are two calculations for loss on drying:
(moisture loss) / (wet or starting weight)
(moisture loss) / (dry or ending weight)
These two calculations for loss on drying render slightly different results, and might be a way that labs change the numbers. Again, this will most often be a very subtle change.
3. Spike the sample.
There are a lot of ways to spike a sample of cannabis. This behavior ranges from kiefing the batch (which is legal in the state of Oregon for some inscrutable reason) to straight up spiking the sample with distillate or other methods. Each version of spiking a sample comes with a pretty good way of detecting it. For instance, using distillate used to be a popular way of increasing the potency of flower until it became easy to detect by looking at the ratio of delta-9 THC to THCA. The use of THCA isolates is also detectable.
Spiking samples to get higher potency values is a common and fast way to increase potency for selected results, especially if effective lab audits at the state level are not in place.
4. Sampling Cheats
While we’re talking about samples, let’s talk about sampling. Appropriate sampling procedures are supposed to ensure that the sample taken from a cannabis batch is representative of that batch. That doesn’t mean that appropriate sampling procedures are always followed. I’ve heard a variety of stories about this. I’ve heard several versions where a farmer handing a bribe and pre-prepared sample to lab samplers, and I’ve heard of farmers leaving the samplers with some kief and some time.
While Oregon has recently updated its rules to include more specific information on sampling, it also increased the batch size to 50 pounds from 15.
5. Swap Samples With Known High Tester
If you’re going to be nefarious, you might as well go all the way and replace your sampled cannabis with a known high-tester. With some of the crazy machinations I’ve heard about labs doing, this method is both cheap and effective. Highly probable that this isn’t the method used to create the sort of mess we see in Oregon, but still effective enough to cheat.
6. Using a Standard Known To Give High Results.
A ‘cannabis testing standard’ is the material that is used to calibrate testing equipment. Many of the least dilute (therefore more effective) standards require DEA licensure (cannabis testing labs are federally illegal laboratories and not eligible for DEA licensure). The more dilute a standard, the more it can impact the results and can give much, much higher potency results. Some standards are known for yielding higher potency results, and some standard companies have failed to respond when clients have raised issues with standard accuracy. ORELAP gives no direction in evaluation of standard for use in testing, nor a list of approved manufacturers.
Unlike some of the other methods, using a standard would impact every test performed on that piece of equipment.
7. Calibration ‘Tricks’
Calibration is what it sounds like — calibrating the lab equipment to accurately reflect found amounts of THC. An intentional miscalibration of the machine would skew all of the results of the machine.
Most calibration ‘tricks’ would be caught during a thorough audit of the lab’s methods. There is no way, however, to address all of the possible tricks that could be used without a comprehensive audit of the entire preparation of the standard for calibration (there’s those standard issues we talked about again).
This is another method that would elevate the results for the laboratory as a whole.
8. Incorrectly Entering Sample Weight for Calculations
When incorrectly entered with the potency information, the sample weight is enough to wildly impact cannabis potency testing results. While the equipment used to record the mass must be calibrated daily, there is nothing to prevent someone recording a lower overall mass (which would push the potency up), and very few labs have the sort of equipment that interface this information with their lab information system, much less regulatory systems. This is an ‘easy’ cheat, as recording a mass around 10% lower than actual will yield roughly 10% inflation for potency.
9. The State Doesn’t Stop Them.
My original article about how labs cheat stopped at eight ways, but here’s the ninth.
10. Dry Labbing
In this instance, the lab doesn’t even bother to run the tests, and instead just puts in numbers to satisfy their clients’ needs.
Which Method Is In Use in Oregon?
Several lab directors were willing to tell me off the record that most likely, the sort of numbers we are seeing in Oregon indicate a combination of using 6, 7, 8, and 9. It is clear that Oregon’s cannabis lab market right now is a mess. Labs are closing due to the economic impact of the lack of oversight.
They Don’t Just Lie About Potency
What I’ve been saying for the last several months is just how if a lab will lie about potency, they’ll lie about pesticides. And it ends up, I’m right.
In other words, the anti-science behavior of these labs could start costing people their health and lives.
In a stipulated settlement recently released, a lab that railed to me about other cheaters, joined the coalition! And here is the stipulated settlement against them.
The synopsis states: “SYNOPSIS: — A laboratory licensee reported marijuana test samples as “passed” during a period when their equipment was not detecting certain pesticide analytes. Because ORLAP is the agency primarily responsible for overseeing laboratory certification and they elected to recertify this lab even after this issue came to light, OLCC Executive team approved this settlement reduction to a civil penalty or suspension in an effort to act in coordination with our ORLAP partners.”
This made me laugh, but not in a ha-ha funny kind of way but that horrible empty laugh of someone who is watching something they love be destroyed. Not only does OLCC throw ORELAP under the bus for the lighter penalty, but also spells the agency’s name wrong (at least according to ORELAP’s website). With precision like that, is it a surprise I don’t totally trust them?
But it’s digging for more detail that breaks my heart even more. The settlement states:
“OAR 845–025–8540(2)(a)(B), (2)(d) — From about October 31, 2020 to about February 11, 2021, Licensee and/or Licensee’s employees, agents, or representatives misrepresented the testing results of marijuana items to consumers, licensees, and/or the public when they discovered in September or October 2020 that quality control measures indicated that their equipment was unable to test for several types of pesticides, but Licensee and/or Licensee’s employees, agents, or representatives nevertheless issued Certificates of Analysis stating that the samples did not contain actionable levels of any of the pesticides being tested for and therefore that the samples passed pesticide testing, when in fact several of the pesticides would not have been able to have been detected due to the equipment failure.”
In other words, the lab knew from October 2020 until February 2021 that their equipment was INCAPABLE of testing for pesticides, and just passed those tests anyway. And, the state of Oregon did nothing about that until 2022, when they decided that a 32 day suspension would be an appropriate recourse for intentionally endangering consumers.
Something’s Gotta Give
There are going to be lawsuits. There are going to be more honest labs that are run out of business. Dishonest labs will continue to use every method in the book to cheat the numbers as much as they like — including hijacking efforts to stop them. When I started all of this work, I mentioned several times I had been threatened by a lab director when I started poking around. This will escalate, because cannabis is a huge, burgeoning industry, and testing is an economic gatekeeper to riches.
As usual, it will be consumers paying the price with their health in addition to their hard-earned cash.
My Trauma Brain Won’t Let This Series About Workplace Proximity Dis-sociates Go
I’m glad that I didn’t catch on to Severance until after the entire first season aired in its entirety because Darren and I binged it.
I wouldn’t have wanted to wait.
The next day, we started watching it again. I’m also relieved that other than a two-sentence summary, I didn’t know all that much about the series going in.
Now, after that re-watch, I still can’t praise it enough. But for me to do that, I want to be sure I don’t spoil it.If you read any farther than the image below THERE WILL BE SPOILERS AFTER THIS IMAGE!
Promo Image for Severance, Directed by Ben Stiller, Written by Dan Erickson, and starring Adam Scott. Available for streaming on Apple+
One of the reasons I love Severance so much is how well it portrays dissociative events, corporate life, and being raised by radical evangelicals. It excels at portraying the brain-numbing dissociation that can accompany life at large, impersonal corporations. I was hooked by the evocative opening, where a disembodied voice asks, ‘Who are you?’
Each moment after is an amazing, slow-burn masterwork of television.
The Story / The Writing
A writer who loves a good story? Whaaat?
Severance features strong story telling with intelligent writing and effective world-building. There are so many gratifying details that come out on subsequent viewings it’s truly hard to name them all, but off the top of my head:
How the the four tempers and nine principles are woven into everything about the series.
Why they change when they come to work (to eliminate the numbers on their watches, etc.)
The truly wonderful questions are the larger ones. What, exactly, are they doing — (not just Lumon, but the Master Data Refiners)? Is it something insidious using emotional cryptography, or is it busywork meant to tame stray questions? What’s under Miss Casey’s careful coif?
The Lexington Letter includes the employee handbook and interesting tale that answers some questions while raising others.
The Performances
Every performance is amazing. They all deserved some sort of Emmy recognition.
It’s easy to get lost in the nuances of the performances of greats like Christopher Walken, and his Burt becomes more complex the more we get to know about him. And next to him, often physically, is John Turturro turning in a riveting performance as Irving.
Promo Image for Severance, Directed by Ben Stiller, Written by Dan Erickson, and featuring John Tururro and Christopher Walken. Available for streaming on Apple+
Irving’s character is not only deliciously complex, but has a few mysteries attached. What was his outie doing with those lists? What do his lapses into sleep and his waking dreams indicate about Lumon’s technology? Is the admonishment from Kier not to fall asleep actually due to some flaw in the chip? Does that explain why Petey was singing “Enter Sandman?” But most importantly — Is Radar the best boy?
Promo Image for Severance, Directed by Ben Stiller, Written by Dan Erickson, and featuring John Tururro. Available for streaming on Apple+Promo Image for Severance, Directed by Ben Stiller, Written by Dan Erickson, and featuring Patricia Arquette and Tramell Tillman. Now streaming on Apple TV+.
Patricia Arquette is shockingly good in every moment the camera finds her. From her composed yet seething with rage and disgust moments to those where she’s the unhinged true believer left adrift: she’s commanding of every moment she’s in. One of the things I find so amazing about her performance is that as someone raised in the world of evangelical Christians, she is playing someone I know all too well.
So, too, is Tramell Tillman who turns in one of my favorite performance of the whole thing so far. While he’s not given a lot of screen time, he’s playing a character I know well, too.His ability to be passively threatening, and to quietly carry the tools of utter psychological devastation — the friendly, smirking threat: he’s amazing at it. But the moment that made his performance my favorite came after Dylan bites him — the scared, raw elevation in his voice at his realization that he was vulnerable was an incredible crack in Milchick, and I can’t wait to see what’s there.
Adam Scott, Zach Cherry, John Turturro and Britt Lower in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
Our four macrodata refiners (don’t make me realize they might be related to the four tempers). Zach Cherry’s Dylan grew on me incredibly fast. As someone who worked in tech, I knew him — and that credits the writing and the actor. Watching as Dylan goes from sarcastic cube dweller to hero with killer delts (but missing a cape).
Being able to see most of them people as their ‘innie’ and ‘outie’ showed the actors’ range and capability as artists. I think I rewound Adam Scott’s time in the elevator 10 or 11 times to watch his facial features change between Mark S. and Mark Scout. All of them turned in nuanced, complex performances. His grief-stricken Mark Scout is relatable to many of us.
Adam Scott in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
Britt Lower’s Helly fierce yet likable. Vulnerable but powerful. We spend the least amount of time with Helene Eagen for the reveal. Given Helly’s conversation with Helene’s dad — I’m hopeful to see Helene more to get a sense of just how dark this Eagan thing goes (and just what a ‘revolving’ is). Regardless of what Helene might be like, Helly R. is pretty spectacular.
Helly definitely makes me wonder how much of a person is nature vs. nurture with a Severance chip.
The Use of Liminal Spaces
Derived from the Latin for threshhold, limen, liminal spaces are spaces of transition. Places that are between the familiar and the unknown, the new and the old, the was and will be. They are transitional spaces. Hallways. Parking lots.
And does Severance ever deliver hallways.
So many hallways.
There’s a beatiful imgur album of some of them here.
The Lighting
Tramell Tillman and Britt Lower in “Severance,”
The brilliant lighting work is on a different level throughout the show. In addition to changing a regular work space into a Music Dance Experience, brilliant moments with lighting pop up everywhere.
My personal favorite is the moment where Mark is sculpting clay with Ms. Casey / Gemma mere feet from him. Cobel watches. As the reveal that Mark was sculpting a tree happens, he fades in and out of the light of the frame. It’s a gorgeous use of light and shadow.
The Costuming
Zach Cherry, Adam Scott, Britt Lower, John Turturro, Christopher Walken and Claudia Robinson in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
It’s not just suits. The colors worn by the characters, especially those in MDR, are often indicative of their state of mind.
The Props Department
Adam Scott in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
The props department must have had a blast. First, for all of the clocks and watches and everything else that had to be entirely without numbers.
John Turturro and Christopher Walken in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
Then, all of the absolutely unhinged artwork. Don’t forget the employee handbooks, the retro feeling technology — the props department had their hands full! They delivered a world that feels both familiar and uncanny.
The Cinematography
‘’Who Are You?” Britt Lower in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
The cinematography is adept at echoing the feelings of loneliness and disillusionment.
Zach Cherry, John Turturro and Adam Scott in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
The Details that Stick In Your Head
Ms. Selvig points out that one of the lights is out in Mark’s hall. When he goes out to find a lightbulb, he finds that red and green candle that Selvig later steals, and then it appears in Wellness.
The three beds and the liminal spaces and transition.
The question about Eagan’s breakfast there is another test that is clearly set up as Helly is being escorted to her appointment.
The Hales: Devon & Ricken
Patricia Arquette, Michael Chernus as Ricken, and Jen Tullock as Devon in “Severance,” now streaming on Apple TV+.
The Hales are great people. I want to be best friends with Devon. I want to support Ricken. Devon’s grounded, fierce, and funny. Ricken is so earnest and thoughtful of inner worlds it’s adorable. I can’t wait to see what happens when he finds out he’s inspired so many innies. I can’t wait to see what Devon will do to help Mark.
— —
The whole thing really has me asking — am I livestock?
The 70’s were a crazy time, and in 1974, Brian De Palma wasn’t famous yet — but Paul Williams sure was, and the two of them teamed up to create The Phantom of Paradise. I don’t want to insult anyone’s intelligence about what a king Paul Williams is, but he wrote things like … A Star is Born and … ‘Tiptoe through the Tulips’, and probably any Carpenters song you really liked. He also worked with my personal favorites, the Muppets, and co-wrote “The Rainbow Connection.” Side note — he’s recently co-written and performed songs with Daft Punk…because Phantom of The Paradise inspired Daft Punk.
Paul Williams’ career was ON FIRE in the year this movie was made, but Brian DePalma was just getting started after a few years of making documentary films and was trying to make his break in Hollywood (Carrie was still a couple of years away).
Ends up, that is a great formula for movie magic.
The Phantom of the Paradise takes the story of Phantom of the Opera and shoves it into the story of Faust and spices it with a hint of Little Mermaid, and then paints it with a bit of … Dorian Gray. It’s a rock opera horror comedy that predates Rocky Horror Picture Show. Brian DePalma both wrote and directed, and Paul Williams added the music and swagger. The movie went on to be nominated for an Oscar and a Golden Globe for the music.
It is transcendent.
The pace at which DePalma is able to lay out the complex plot is staggering, but the film itself never feels overly rushed or dense. It’s possible this is because it’s so archetypal (a testament to the writing and the amazing production overall). There’s a part of me that would love to see a Phantom of The Paradise Tarot Deck. The sets, scenery and costumes are so on-point and perfect that I’d love to see more people dress as these characters.
Swan will steal your music and then take your teeth. Actual plot points. Also note Swan’s strong waistcoat / shirt pairings. Image Owned by 20th Century Fox.
Swan, our devil, is a record producer and pretty talented sound engineer / sound mixer and fashion icon whose glasses tint always matches his clothes. I guess being the devil has privileges. It’s important that Swan is scummy as fuck to boot, because packed inside of this fun movie is a scathing comment on the brutality of the music industry in particular and the entertainment industry in general (trust me it’s still timely). How could there be Faust without a devil? Williams is over the top and has his dial tuned perfectly to licentiousness.
The movie opens with a voiceover read by none other than Rod Serling. It explains that Swan, a legend with an unknown past (*cough* devil *cough*), is looking for the new sound, something to replace the nostalgia wave his band, the Juicy Fruits (name is oh-so bubblegum appropriate!), ushered in. We’re introduced to our protagonist, Winslow Leach (played by William Finley), as he pastes his name onto a poster of the Juicy Fruits, before taking the stage after them to perform.
Oh, Winslow. I’m sorry for the absolute madness that’s about to happen. Image Owned by 20th Century Fox.
Swan listens to Winslow’s performance and knows the music would be perfect to open his new concert hall, The Paradise, so he sends his henchman to steal it. They use the ruse that Swan will produce it. Winslow gives in even though it’s obvious that Swan’s goon Philbin doesn’t understand the scope of his music — that it’s more than a single song, it’s an entire work. Winslow IS, however, super clear that he doesn’t want the Juicy Fruits to sing it (it’s obvious he’s not a fan. Really very obvious.)
We all know Swan doesn’t give a fuck, right? So Winslow tries to find out what’s going on after being ghosted for a month — and it so happens that Swan is running ‘auditions’ for Winslow’s Faust. The Weinstein style auditions. While there, Winslow discovers Phoenix (played by pre-Suspiria Jessica Harper) singing his work and loves hearing her sing it — but is pissed as hell that his name has been removed from it.
What’s fascinating about this interpretation of the Phantom story is the time that we spend with the character before his scarring. Even Phoenix (Christine / Maguerite for you Phantom / Faust fans) interacts with him before he is scarred. This allows for her to have a subsequent recognition of him in a later moment that I’m not even going to talk about.
Pathos!
The other interesting thing: we also see the moment he’s scarred — when Winslow tries to break into Swan’s mansion a second time he’s beaten up, framed for drugs, and sent to Sing-Sing. It’s there that his teeth are extracted and replaced with metal ones, courtesy of a Swan Foundation program aimed at reducing infections in the prison population (so many timely comments).
It is also in Sing-Sing that he hears his Faust being sung by the Juicy Fruits at which point he snaps, loses his shit, and goes on a prison-escaping rampage that ends with his face in a record press at Swan’s headquarters. The accident also crushes his vocal cords.
Winslow then sneaks into The Paradise’s costume department and crafts his new look.
Winslow’s new look: metallic teeth and awesome mask. Image Owned by 20th Century Fox.
I don’t want to go too much farther, because I think the delight of the movie is in seeing it. But I do feel like I’m really doing the movie a disservice if I don’t show you who the movie’s ‘Carlotta’ is (who Swan selects to sing Winslow’s Faust just to piss him off). It’s a character named Beef played by Gerrit Graham.
Gerrit Graham as Beef. Image Owned by 20th Century Fox.
I have to point out Beef . . . because talk about scene-stealing.
I also want to say: the movie’s chandelier scene is such an amazing interpretation, and the Psycho shower scene is unforgettable.
Phantom of the Paradise is ridiculous, beautiful, and earnest in all of the best ways. It’s fun, thoughtful, has some really banging music, and is laugh out loud funny. It is an amazing 90 minute ride and if you missed it like I did, it’s a fun 90 minutes. I understand why it’s often in a double feature with Rocky Horror Picture Show, I just wish I had managed to see one myself so I would have discovered this gem earlier!
https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fembed%2FT9yof8cwli4%3Ffeature%3Doembed&display_name=YouTube&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DT9yof8cwli4&image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FT9yof8cwli4%2Fhqdefault.jpg&key=a19fcc184b9711e1b4764040d3dc5c07&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=youtubeHere’s the Trailer at You Tube.
How What We Do In The Shadows and enough IFS to be dangerous helped me negotiate a cease-fire with my inner critic.
What We Do In The Shadows, promotional image. Image owned by FX.
Like countless others, one of the ways that I have dealt with the trauma of my past is writing about it. I have been engaging in a pretty relentless (heh) self-inventory as part of a long-term journey towards healing over the past several years. As part of that I’ve read dozens of books covering the subject of trauma, positive self-talk, and other such subjects. I’ve examined how I carry trauma and which ‘personality quirks’ of mine are actually trauma responses. Few pieces of media have been as helpful or insightful to me as one of Nadja’s storylines on FX’s What We Do In The Shadows.
FX’s series What We Do In The Shadows is based on the Jemaine Clement / Taika Waititi movie of the same name. Instead of following New Zealand vampires like the movie does, the television series mainly follows four vampires (and Guillermo) who live in Staten Island.
Initially, Darren and I started watching because we’d seen Mark Proksch (Colin Robinson) before. Not only are we fans of The Office, but his episodes in Better Call Saul are unforgettable and lead us to find his yo-yo shenanigans. We caught a couple of clips of the show online and then decided to plunge right in. The absolute absurd hilarity of vampires in modern life was exactly the sort of media we needed.
I’m a sucker for anything that includes inventive costuming, so it was no surprise that I fell for Natasia Demetriou’s character Nadja. The beautiful Nadja of Antipaxos spends a large amount of time making everything funnier and more Victorian-looking.
Nadja’s ghost inhabits a doll, from Season 2 Episode 2, Ghosts, of What We Do In The Shadows. Image owned by FX.
In Ghosts, the second episode of season 2, the vampires deal with a ghost infestation of their Staten Island mansion. Each ghost has unfinished business. In Nadja’s case, her ghost is hanging around to see Nadja achieve something. At first, the two bicker pretty horribly. After all, Nadja’s ghost has been hanging around, watching Nadja waste her life! The two eventually realize how similar they are, and Nadja decides she wants her ghost to stay with her. They decide that Nadja’s ghost should inhabit a doll found in the attic.
This was such a brilliant move for many reasons. First, it allows Natasia an additional character to play. Second, the doll is unendingly cute, and seeing how the costumers and stylists make sure that she matches human-sized Nadja is always a delight.
Look at how cute she is! Nadja-doll with her bindle, about to leave the vampire home in Season 3, Episode 7, “The Siren.” Image owned by FX.
Up until episode 7 of season 3, ‘The Siren,’ Nadja-doll is very much attached to Nadja and her point of view (though there is a hilarious moment between Nadja-doll and Colin Robinson). In ‘The Siren’, which documents a particularly challenging time for Nadja, Nadja is seen completely neglecting Nadja-doll, who decides she doesn’t like feeling like an extra puzzle pieces (puzzles don’t work that way!), and strikes out on her own. Eventually this results in a surreal chase as the doll leaps from object to object as Nadja follows after her, begging for her to return. After a heartfelt conversation, Nadja’s ghost goes back to the doll, and the two are happily reunited. Afterwards, as Nadja and her ghost debrief for the mockumentary cameras, Nadja comments that in her quest to be seen as a leader, she neglected her sweet doll, that she saw as being a part of her own awesome personality.
Before I had seen those episodes, I couldn’t even try to figure out how to work with such a harsh inner critic — I could only see how to spend time in a trauma loop with it. Seeing Nadja and her doll find a way forward gave me an idea of how I could move forward, and how I could find a way that I could learn to embrace what she had to say.
Bonus, now my inner critic has Natasia Demetriou’s Nadja voice.
Nadja and Nadja-doll from FX’s What We Do In The Shadows. Image owned by FX.
